Why Self-Expression Is So Important (& How to Do It)
What’s Self‑Expression and Why Is It So Important to Mental Health?
Self‑expression is the process of conveying your thoughts, feelings, values, and identity through words, art, movement, choices, or creativity. In counselling and psychological health research, authentic self‑expression (versus conditioned or influenced self-expression) is strongly tied to improved overall well-being: better confidence, emotional balance, alignment of values and behavior, and reduced anxiety and depression.
From my own life, I was so creative as a kid - always wanting to learn instruments, dance, write scripts, and pursue photography. Then as I “woke up” to the world’s urgencies, I boxed art into “hobbies”, filing them under “nice‑but‑not‑essential.” That drove me toward changework, yes, but also toward inevitable burnout. Because what I shut down was more than creative output; I shut down my source of being, my wellspring.
Mental health thrives when self‑expression can be a vessel for processing challenges and for moving through hard truths. Research shows that people who engage in creative self‑expression heal more effectively: art therapy, movement, painting, and journaling all help better manage stress, increase resilience, and recuperate one's sense of self.
Expressing ourselves authentically is like opening a valve: without it, pressure builds. Our values, stories, and even wounds get flattened or ignored. We feel disconnected - from our own lives, from others. But when we allow our voices, our bodies, our authentic messiness and beauty to flow through us, healing strengthens. That reconnection to “truth” - our inner truths - is essential to well-being.
Why Is It So Hard to Express Yourself Sometimes?
There are many reasons, all related and interconnected. Some are inner - fear, perfectionism, doubt. Some are systemic - culture, upbringing, power dynamics.
Fear & Vulnerability: Expressing something authentic often involves an element of risk, cracking open a door to potential judgment and/or rejection. When I “locked away” creativity, I did so because I believed art was frivolous in the face of urgency. I believed it was better for me to be “useful” rather than “expressive.” But the fear of other peoples’ perception shouldn’t justify hiding your true self away.
Social Conditioning & Identity Suppression: Many of us grew up in environments (family, school, culture) where we were rewarded for being “safe,” “quiet,” and “compliant.” Expressing something different or unique felt (or currently feels for you) unsafe and uncertain. Studies show how children in families with rigid norms often lose access to authentic expression, adopting conditional expression instead.
Perfectionism & Outcome Orientation: In Western societies, we expect optimal performance, above average excellence, and clean visible results. This puts intense pressure on us to act a certain standardized way. And unless self‑expression is rewarded in some way, it feels not worth doing. So unfortunately, that tends to kill curiosity and motivation for authentic self-expression.
Burnout, Lack of Energy, & Shame: I saw this in myself: the creative voice became a burden because I believed I needed to always prioritize changework, rigor, and relentlessness. When I landed in a burnout clinic in 2022, I was so far gone that I didn’t remember what joy or ease felt like. I didn’t think I deserved to feel good. What brought me back to life, in addition to my loved ones and my beloved late Cosmo, was creativity. It was art therapy, movement therapy, music therapy. The dancing, the writing poems again, the colouring to pass the time.
Cultural & Systemic Barriers: What if your culture discourages speaking up? Or your societal norms either directly or indirectly punish differences? Or access to art, materials, time, or space is unequal or fundamentally inaccessible to most? These systemic factors are often under‑recognized, but they matter a lot. They affect how comfortable someone feels when approaching self-expression, which determines the quality and effectiveness of their self-expression.
So expressing yourself isn’t just an emotional lift. It’s almost always pushing against layers of conditioning, systems, and fear. All of these factors can make authentic self-expression feel extremely difficult sometimes.
I know just how hard it can feel to navigate and overcome seemingly insurmountable challenges when it comes to expressing yourself in a world that doesn’t really encourage it.
That’s why I started the well. To help people like you and me lean into their joy. So if you’re looking for a comfortable first step into deepening your self-expression, check out our brand new workshop: Whispers From Within.
How Has the Rise of Social Media Affected Self‑Expression?
Social media is complicated. It simultaneously offers new modes of voice and also new pressures to perform, compare, conform, and censor parts of ourselves.
On the plus side, platforms can give marginalized people voice, community, representation, and affirmation. Authentic self‑expression on social media - when someone shares their daily reality rather than the curated ideal - has been associated with higher life satisfaction and well‑being.
But there are also harms:
Social Comparison & Idealization: We often compare ourselves to curated highlight reels. Instagram, for example, is frequently cited as a platform that magnifies body image issues, FOMO (fear of missing out), and feelings of inadequacy.
Self‑Censorship & Curated Identity: Many people express only the parts of themselves that they believe are “acceptable” to their audience. That dilutes authenticity and fragments identity. Studies show that when expression is not authentic, well‑being is lower.
Algorithmic Pressures & Visibility Bias: The content that gets amplified by social media algorithms often rewards what’s sensational, polished, or trending - not honesty, nuance, or struggle. Also, exposure to negative content, harassment, or skewed norms (e.g. appearance norms) can suppress self‑expression rather than free it.
For me, social media was double‑edged. It provided pathways to share, connect, and network. But I also stopped sharing important parts of myself - my poems, my dance, my failures - because they didn’t “look like changework.” That gap cost me connection, cost me joy, cost me wholeness.
How Does Self‑Expression Differ from Culture to Culture?
Culture shapes what is believed to be possible, what is rewarded, and what is silenced. Self‑expression is not universally accepted, and expectations vary widely. For example, in some cultures, being on video or camera is thought to be sinful, disgraceful, or is generally frowned upon. If someone’s only avenue of self-expression is through social media, then they’d most definitely feel stifled. Also, in some cultures, being a woman and being expressive is considered dangerous, sinful, or is shamed.
Collectivist & Individualist Cultures: In collectivist settings, speaking up against the group norm can carry real social cost (shame, ostracism, or isolation). In individualist cultures, self‑expression is typically more encouraged or rewarded. But even in individualist societies, norms about gender, class, and race still shape what parts of self are safe to reveal.
Relational Mobility: Recent studies show how cultural norms affect self‑presentation, friendship, and self‑disclosure. In some cultures, identities are more stable and constrained; in others, more fluid and expressive.
Stigma & Minority Identity: For LGBTQ+ people, racial minorities, or those whose identities are marginalized, self- expression carries a much higher risk. Expression styles for safety might include anonymity, coded language, or specific behavior within subcultures. These cultural dynamics deeply affect what one can express freely.
Artistic Tradition & Resources: In places where art, music, dance, and creative movement rituals are woven into everyday life, creative self‑expression can feel more “normal” and accessible. For example, in some Latin American countries, dance is highly normalized, popular, and celebrated. Many people are able to freely express themselves through dance without fear of judgment, shame, or isolation. In contexts where survival, economic pressure, or rule of law suppress free speech, it can feel like a luxury. For example, in some Middle Eastern countries, it’s frowned upon or even illegal to express yourself through dance, song, or clothing.
Intergenerational & Familial Expectations: Many of us carry family norms and expectations from childhood that shape what feels possible. If your upbringing said “art is a hobby,” “quiet is safe,” “don’t make waves”, then those internalized norms can feel unconscious but powerful enough to shape your behavior and beliefs about self-expression.
Self‑expression, then, is both personal and cultural: we express ourselves into the cultural container we're in. Some containers are tight and fearful, others loose and expansive. Understanding your culture helps you decide which norms to lean into or push against.
How to Express Yourself Authentically in a Feel‑Good Way
Authentic self‑expression doesn’t have to be dramatic or public, but it needs to feel aligned, safe, and nourishing. Here are ways to express yourself authentically and feel good doing it:
Reclaim old outlets: I started painting again, dancing in my living room, and writing poems. These didn’t “produce” anything big, but they made me remember who I am, what’s important to me, and what I want to be doing in my life.
Creative Self‑Expression as Practice, Not Performance: Let go of outcome or what you think “should” happen. The poem I wrote after my breakup revealed internal truths I couldn’t see in conversation. The art therapy piece I drew taught me more than talking ever did.
Schedule Creativity: Prioritize some time - even 15 minutes a day. When I was actively in burnout, I didn’t think I deserved joy. Giving myself permission to feel good, to create, is what pulled me back into myself and reminded me of who I truly am.
Find Safe Containers: Choose friends, groups, spaces, or workshops where you feel heard and not judged. These can be extremely difficult to find, which is why I built the well, a space for safe self-expression regardless of where you come from.
Looking for a beginner-friendly path into self-expression? Check out our brand new online workshop designed to help you access your body’s wisdom.
Mix Modalities: Creative movement, choreographed dance, art, writing, collage, song, etc. Different media speak different parts of you. And when interwoven, can amplify the powers of self-expression.
Boundaries & Voice Clarity: Sometimes expressing yourself means saying “no,” creating space, or protecting your energy - saying “this feels true to me” even if others disagree. While this tends to feel uncomfortable in the body, especially if you have people-pleasing tendencies, setting and gently reinforcing boundaries when necessary is extremely necessary for your well-being.
Since everyone is different, there’s not just one way to express yourself authentically in a feel-good way. I recommend you to explore and try different things in order to find what works best for you.
Expert Tips for Effective Self‑Expression
Here are wisdoms from research and my own journey:
Authentic, Not Curated: Studies from Columbia Business School found that people who share their everyday, honest selves on social media report higher happiness and life satisfaction than those whose profiles are highly idealized.
Practice Courage in Small Increments: You don’t need to sing or post a painting in public first. Share with a trusted friend. Create an anonymous social media account. Dance when alone. Let your voice come through lightly. Baby steps.
Make Space for Failure & Grief: Sometimes self-expression uncovers pain. That’s okay. To heal, first locate what’s been suppressed. It is part of strength, not weakness. I drew, painted, and wrote poems about my own painful life experiences, even when it was raw - because that is what returned me to life. And what will help you express yourself better.
Consistent Self‑Reflection: Apply the iceberg model to help you notice when expression stops or feels challenging. Ask yourself: What beliefs or fears are stopping me? What norms did I internalize that are silencing me? Then map who else is in that ecosystem (e.g. family, culture, institutions) and notice what’s enabled or suppressed your voice.
Align With Values: Expression that feels good often reflects what you care about. Maybe it’s justice, maybe beauty, maybe vulnerability, maybe curiosity. Expression is fuelled by what matters the most to you. For example, my writing project after my breakup, my colours when painting - they were all pointing at what I deeply valued: truth, presence, light, joy.
Use Community & Sharing: You don’t need to be alone. Even if it feels incredibly difficult, you can share your creative pieces, stories, and movement with others (even in small ways that may feel more doable). In workshops, small groups, or through trusted friends. Feedback and witnessing are powerful.
Final Reflections
Self‑expression is not optional - it’s truly essential. It’s not superficial, it’s foundational. When we silence our creativity, our longing, our joy, or our vulnerability, we lose or suppress important parts of ourselves. When we reclaim them, we return to full power.
For me, expressing again - through art therapy, creative movement, poem writing - was the path back into sanity, compassion, and agency. It reminded me: I am not just a changemaker; I am a human being with a soul that wants to live, dance, and breathe.
If you’ve been sitting in silence or inauthentic performance, know this: your voice matters. Your true self deserves to be seen. Your expression matters. Even if you begin with a pen, a brush, a dance in your bedroom, a poem no one else will read, each act is reclaiming your inner well and tending it.
You aren’t alone. The well is here to hold space for your creative renewal. To dance, to paint, to write, to move. To remember what truth feels like. Let’s not lose ourselves anymore - we are needed whole in this fractured world of ours.
